You Need Help. Here’s How to Get It.
Your breakthrough will come from the sage advice of a champion or friend.
How to Ask for Help.
Many consider asking for help to be a sign of weakness. It’s acknowledging that you don’t know everything and feels like it signals to others that you’re incompetent, imperfect, and incapable.
Let’s not hide the obvious!! You don’t know everything, and you’ve got a lot to learn from the people around you.
I know this better than anyone. I ask for help … all the time. In fact, five times yesterday. I’m entering into a new stage of my career where I’m trying to embrace the technology I’ve avoided for many, many years. I have a hunch that tech and efficiency tools aren’t going away. (You heard it here, folks … you heard it here!)
When I encounter new technology and I can’t get it to work for me, I literally break into tears. It’s frustrating. And, honestly, it hurts my ego a little … okay, a lot.
I have a friend, Joe Sanok (Bet on You, Season 3), who has optimized his life with efficiency tools and has a virtual team that supports him so he can focus on the highest priority items in his business. We sat down for coffee the other day and I admitted many, many of my deficiencies in life. No dancing around the issue, no sugar coating the reality. I practically begged him to tell me how he’s able to use technology to raise him up (and not bring him to his knees). I walked away from a 45-minute conversation energized, empowered. It was awesome.
Help Allows You to Advance
You must accept and ask for help to advance in life – there’s no way around it. Asking for help isn’t groveling. Actually, quite the opposite. Imagine someone came to you asking for support. You’d be delighted, honored! It’s as if someone thinks you have expertise and can help them. Just think: asking someone for help is flattering to someone else. By making the ask, you’re elevating them – it’s a gift you can give someone else!
Here are a few simple tactics to make the “ask” seem less intimidating than it needs to be:
- Identify a problem area in your life. What are you struggling with? Chances are you’ve had this nagging pain for quite some time. Stop ignoring it. Maybe you’re dissatisfied with your current state of health, need to refresh your wardrobe, or have a challenge delivering presentations. Stop struggling … start being accountable.
- Find the skill you need to build. Once you know the problem, break it down to a specific competency or skill – that helps showcase to you that it can be learned, and developed. As an example, if you struggle with time management, maybe the skill you need to focus on is calendar management. Simply learning how to sync your work calendar, personal calendar, and family calendar could make a huge difference. That’s a skill that can be learned!
- Connect with a champion. There’s a super-user for everything. Your trick is to find them. I’ve got a coaching client who wants to strengthen their executive presence. They identified someone in their firm who just owns a room. I made the recommendation to my client to go to coffee with this person, hear their story, and learn what they do to make their presence so powerful and impactful. People love to share their secrets to success!!
- Baby step your way to success. Change can be exciting, but it’s also challenging. As for me on my tech-learning journey, I’m slow … really slow. Adopting new technology means there’s a learning curve. Tolerating a “new beginning mindset” and being patient with yourself is key. Don’t just think about the struggle today … think about what your behavior is leading to. My hope is that you can’t help but imagine how the effort you’re putting in today connects to greater success for the future.
I’d love to hear from you regarding your comfort with asking for help. I’m going to focus my entire Season 5 of Bet on You on finding guides and champions in our life. So, please email me and share with me your challenges related to asking for help: firstname.lastname@example.org